Leveraging Technology for Love
tdx:
By the time the fourth NCAA men’s basketball tournament game tipped off on Friday evening, my buddy and I had spent about 10-hours watching live games. That’s fun, but taxing. We got loopy. So, I did what I always do when I’m loopy, I began searching for women I’d like to have my babies, or least practice having my babies. The stands at American Airlines arena were devoid of any real “lookers” and this is when God intervenes. Wake Forest loses the ball out of bounds prompting a TV-timeout. Cleveland State’s cheerleaders take the court for yet another scintillating performance.
“The one in the middle is so damn cute,” I observe.
“She is. Her legs. And that tight little ass,” confirms Buddy #1.
“Yep, explain to me again why you let me get married,” jokes Buddy #2.
As the game resumes and Cleveland State’s cheerleaders return to their designated position at the baseline, I whip out my…BlackBerry.
“Are you Googling,” inquires Buddy #2. I nod ‘affirmative’. Upon locating the Cleveland State cheerleading roster, I copy and paste names into Facebook until Ms. Top-of-the-Pyramid is found. Friend request sent.
The following day, I’m in — Facebook friend request is accepted. The ensuing email barrage uses time-tested templates exploiting youthful innocence, sexual undertones, and witty observations. It’s a recipe that makes thongs disintegrate. Don’t argue with me, dammit. It’s science.
By Sunday morning, Buddy #1 and I are on our way back to AA Arena for Round #2. Cleveland State’s cheerleader is sending text messages. She’s a bubbly little school girl…with a to-die-for figure.
“I gotta admit, man, you’ve impressed me,” offers Buddy #1. “I never thought she’d buy that shit you emailed.” I smile knowing the approach has an uncanny success rate.
Google —> Facebook —> Text Messaging —> ???
I never kiss and tell ;)
This is amazing. It’s really too bad Pat is married - he’d be a genius at this shit.
